Yesterdays Gone  (11-15-09)

I sat outside and waited for you. I was worried. You have been
so on edge lately. The way you looked at me, I could feel how
scared you were. I came inside and things were still awkward.
You were speaking to me but you really weren't talking to me.
After a few long moments you finally let me in. It felt good
to bring you a little comfort. I hate it when you are so sad.
Or when you won't let me in. I could tell you were still
bothered. You were trying so hard to hide it. I gave you that.
Never letting you know I could feel your distance. What was it that
kept you from being with me? Was it all the pain your ex-husband
so graciously gave to you day after day? I tried so hard to show
you I wasn't like him. I tried so hard to be everything he
wasn't. But in the end, was it my own selfishness that kept me
from you. Now my love is lost and confused. I still think about
it and wonder why I let you go without ever really fighting
for you.

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